Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
