I just made out with a guy for $7.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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