my vag is so smooth its legendary
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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