Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
