I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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