Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
