I puked a lego.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
