Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
