In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
