Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
