no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
