I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
