did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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