Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
