well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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