Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We had sex on a dog bed..
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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