he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
