No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
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