Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
