I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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