Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just threw up on my dentist
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
