Whoa Z and x make the same sound
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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