Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
