I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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