when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
