His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
People in love make me want to vomit
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
