jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
