It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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