did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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