I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
