Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
