a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
