i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Bang-toberfest begins!!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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