I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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