Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The adults are the big ones right?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
