Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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