Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
