u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
