Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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