Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
