I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
