is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
