I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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