My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
