don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
