1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
