Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
