i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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