last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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