ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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