Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
