I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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